Take a trip back in time with me if you will to 1st grade. For reasons unknown to me, my mother decided to pack 5 kids in the car the day before school started and head west. Our tribe headed west for a good long while, until we ended up in Denver, Colorado. Her parents were sick and in the hospital and she wanted nothing more to be by their side. They remained ill as the days turned into weeks. And then the week was a month.
I don't remember a whole lot about that month, expect perhaps being lonely. I was separated from my immediate family and I don't remember seeing my mom really until our month was coming to a close. I guess my mom was at the hospital and my four older siblings were with other relatives. I stayed with my cousins who were close to my age and their parents. I remember going to the park nearby and playing with my cousins, but I am not sure I had actually ever met them before that trip to Denver.
At then end of a month or so we headed back to Minnesota. I had missed the beginning of first grade, which I don't think anyone realized was so crucial. My mom instructed me to ask for make up work when I spoke with my teacher, which I did. My teacher said not to worry, that I would "catch on". I
She was wrong. I never caught on and always felt inadequate. All of my classmates were reading and were in way better colors than I was in the leveled reading. I remember thinking that "olive" was a horrible color and a horrible feeling because everyone else was on teal and magenta and chartreuse. What that meant to me as a first grader who had no reading skills is that everyone else had "caught on" and I didn't have a clue how to read.
This began my long relationship with "impostor's syndrome". I pretended and I got really good at it. Some might say that I developed excellence in this area. I made my way through school with minimal reading skill. And, I did it so well that no one knew that I had dramatic deficits in reading. When I graduated high school I did not think that I was going to get my Associates degree, my Bachelor's Degree, my Master's degree or even dream of getting a doctoral degree.
I made a serious start in college in 2003. I really wanted to be a teacher and took my EMT training so that I could work my way through college. I really did not think I had the time, patience, skill and money to make it through my four year degree. I focused on the AA degree and put my head to the wind. After that, I focused on the next goal, my four year degree. In my program I had classes with students at the grad level and a seed was planted. One of the happiest days of my life was earning that Bachelor's degree. I was proud because I knew how far I had come from the little girl who never "caught on". My two oldest watched me graduate from college and they were proud of me because they saw all the work that went into it and how I just kept the pace until I reached the goal.
Now I am nearing the end of my Master's program. And in my future is a Doctor of Education degree. I have no idea what it is going to take, how I will pay for it, or where I will go. I do know, that I have a goal to achieve. I never thought I could go that far in education and I don't think I am ridiculous smart. I do know that I am a hard worker and if nothing else in this world is true about me, this one thing is, I am determined!
My hardships to overcome have been real, but they are nothing compared to the woman in this video. I find her to be inspiring because I am on my way to getting that doctoral degree. It may take a good long while, but it is in my sites. The woman in the video confirms that I only have to believe and I can achieve. I hope you find inspiration in her story and begin to dream big, whatever your dream may be.
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